


The Delicate Art of Being an Asshole

by parsnips (trifles)



Series: Tales of Love, Loss, and Insurance [3]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Gallows Humor, Gen, Human Resources, Humor, Insurance, Post-Movie(s), Trolling
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-25
Updated: 2015-02-25
Packaged: 2018-03-15 01:19:58
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 212
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3432767
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/trifles/pseuds/parsnips
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky decides that merely reading about insurance is for amateurs.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Delicate Art of Being an Asshole

**Author's Note:**

> This is the world of [insurance-Bucky](http://triflesandparsnips.tumblr.com/tagged/fic:insurance!bucky). These are his stories.

Maria Hill specifically calls Steve down to her office on the HR level of Stark tower. She sits him down. She folds her hands on her desk.

"This shit isn’t funny anymore," she says.

Steve stares at her from the much, much too small chair he’s wedged himself into.

Maria reaches over and turns her computer monitor to face Steve. Her Contacts screen in Microsoft Outlook is currently sorted to show various insurance agents. “He’s burned through all of them, Steve,” Maria says. “He won’t sign the paperwork without asking for a meeting with the agent first.” She leans forward. “And then he talks at them, Steve, until they don’t come back. He tells them he’s 95 and then asks about additional long term care insurance.” 

Steve opens his mouth, because actually, that—

"He asks for the names of the underwriters so that he can argue with them specifically about whether he counts as an adverse selection based on his career and lifestyle."

Steve’s not sure what an adverse selection is, but if—

Maria closes her eyes and places her hands gently on the table. “Steve. _Steve._ He shows them the arm and asks if it’s too late to buy accidental death and dismemberment.”

The air duct above them both starts snickering.

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [The Delicate Art of Being an Asshole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/3821323) by [parsnips (trifles)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/trifles/pseuds/parsnips)




End file.
